


Live On Air

by SpuffyCarrie



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Complete, Drama, F/M, Talk Shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 05:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15454308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpuffyCarrie/pseuds/SpuffyCarrie
Summary: Willow and Xander have done some stupid things in their lives, but this one has to take the cake. The pair decide to take Buffy on a famous talk show to vent their feelings on her hidden relationship with Spike, and this backfires spectacularly in so many ways. An off canon one shot set around S6, Episode 11, Gone. Unbetaed so all mistakes are my own.Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.





	1. Chapter 1

It had taken all afternoon, but Buffy was back to her normal corporeal self now. The trouble was, Xander couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was going on between her and Captain Peroxide. He wasn’t stupid, well, not most of the time. Even he could see Spike hadn’t really been exercising, he couldn’t quite pinpoint what was going on with the vamp, but he could still see with his own eyes, and those eyes saw Buffy’s purple jacket lying on a chair in Spike’s bedroom. Busted! The only reason it could be there was if the Buffster had been in Spike’s bedroom sometime in the last twenty-four hours, as she’d worn that coat last night when she went on patrol. Why would she even be in Spike’s bedroom? He just knew the vamp was up to no good with Buffy because they’d been far too close this morning in the kitchen, talking about flapjacks or something, he’d heard them as he walked through the front door. He was sure the evil undead had his hand deep in her pocket, too close to Buffy’s…buff, for Xanders liking, and both had looked equally guilty when he walked into the kitchen. Then there was Spike, and his…exercising, that had been the last straw. He could put two and two together, Buffy was invisible, Spike was so obviously having sex with someone invisible. He hated to admit it, but that someone was Buffy, and now he knew, there was no escaping it.

"Seriously Ahn, she's been sneaking around, sleeping with Spike and doing god knows what else with him, she needs help!"

“I must say, I’m surprised, she was just so prim when we suggested she was sleeping with Spike that time with the bot, I knew she was trying to turn it around by saying she wondered whether you were sleeping with Spike.”

“Well he is, compact and muscular. Hey! That still doesn’t mean I would, I’d think, I’d do…”

“I know sweetie, you keep telling yourself that.” Anya grinned and patted his chest, as Xander spluttered and went a shade of puce. "Xander, she's happy getting orgasms from Spike, and why wouldn't she be? She seems quite relaxed right now, she was getting a frown line between her eyes, did you notice its gone now?”

“No, why would I? Men don’t care about that stuff. Ahn, you’re missing the point.”

“I don’t think I am, that’s why I need my orgasms, they keep my face relaxed and wrinkle free, it’s a must for every girl.” She began undressing, pulled back the covers and got into bed. “Have you seen those abs? if I didn't have you, I'd try Spike out, I think he'd give great satisfaction, what with vamp stamina and strength..."

"Ahn!"

"What? I'm just giving you my opinion of Spikes...Spike."

"Can we stop talking about Spike, I think I need to wash my ears out, and my eyes, you didn’t see him naked like I did."

"My poor Xander." Anya soothed, smiling at the visual. “Now, can we have our own orgasms? I have work in the morning and sleep is just as good at keeping the wrinkles away.”

The TV was on in the background, and Xander’s interest was piqued by the title, 'Is my lover really my brother?'

"That's it!" Xander’s voice rose to the pitch of a screeching fourteen-year-old girl, as he pointed at the TV, scaring the bejaysus out of Anya.

Anya rolled over onto her front and balanced her chin on her hands, kicking her legs a little. "I'm a thousand years old ex vengeance demon and even if know that’s wrong, anyway, there's no way Spike be her brother, he’s way too old?" 

"No, no! Don't you see Ahn?" He grabbed her by the shoulders, "We get her on Jerry Springer, you know, they'll do a lie detector test on Buffy and then we can stage an intervention."

Xander picked up the phone. "Hello, operator, can you give me the number for the Jerry Springer show."

Anya leaned back against the pillows, filing her nails. "I have a bad feeling about this." She said to nobody.

...……

"But how will we even get Buffy and Spike to go on the show?" Willow asked, nursing her non-fat latte at the Expresso pump.

"I spoke with the producers, they send an invitation to watch the show, and then when they get there, bam! They’re the main event. Buffy and Spike will just have to turn up. We know how much Spike loves the TV, he’ll be easy.” Xander bit into a large crawler, looking pleased with himself.

“I-I don’t know, Xander, it could be tricky, what if she decides not to go?”

“Free tickets for a TV show, plus a girl who doesn’t get much time off, equals her jumping at the chance. I don’t see how it could go wrong. Anyway, we’ll have tickets too, we can make a day of it, travel to Hollywood, eat out, it’ll be fun.”

Willow looked doubtful, but she nodded, it didn’t involve magic, and wasn’t really meddling per se, it was just helping things along, then they could give Buffy the help she needed. She was sure her friend would be grateful for them helping her see what she was doing was wrong. “OK, let’s do it.”

……..

Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Spike sat back in his chair, watching a re-run of passions and drinking from a mug of blood. He always seemed to feel bored while he was waiting for her majesty to grace him with her presence. She could turn up at any time, which left him hanging around just in case she did, he wouldn’t want to miss out on her succulent little puss, not even once, and he’d take what he could get, regardless of whether she was using him, which he knew in his heart of hearts was true.

There was a rustle as something was slid under his door. The groundskeeper sometimes took in post for him and the occasional package, like the time he’d ordered that copy of playboy cause the bird in it looked right like Buffy. He marched over to the door and picked up the envelope, surprised to see was addressed to William T. Bloody, Restfield Cemetery. Strange, if he ordered anything he usually gave the name, W. Pratt.

He shook it, before taking it over to the chair and sitting with a thud and, never one known for patience, he ripped it open with his human teeth, looking down in his lap as two tickets fell out, along with a short letter.

_‘You have been randomly selected to be a part of our audience on the live Jerry Springer show. Your tickets are enclosed, and we hope you will enjoy being part of one of America’s top TV experiences at Burbank Studios, Hollywood._

_Jerry Springer.’_

Spike rubbed his chin; how did they know who he was? He wasn’t on any public records. Someone was probably playing with him; perhaps next he’d get pizza’s being sent here? No worries, he’d just scare the living shit out of the delivery boy, and the wanker would never return. No-one fucked with William the Bloody.

……………

Buffy sifted through the mail, it was mostly bills and they depressed her more than anything. She dropped them behind the sofa to join a whole host of others in the denial pile, and then looked at what was left. Hmm, a sample for a new cream rinse, a discount leaflet for the local pizza joint and a letter addressed to her.

She opened the letter and six tickets fell out onto her lap. Reading the note inside she wondered who she’d saved to be given tickets for a TV show. She read the letter inside excitedly and rushed upstairs to find Willow.

“You’ll never guess what!” She cried, shaking the tickets in her friend’s face.

Willow was happy, this was the most emotion she’d seen Buffy show since she was resurrected. Perhaps this was a good idea, after all. She hoped Buffy might open up to them about her experiences in the hell dimension, and this seemed like an ideal catalyst. She took the bunch of tickets from Buffy’s hand and read them. “Oh, exciting! They’re for Friday, who are you going to invite? You have six tickets.”

Buffy frowned for a moment as she thought of Spike. Nope, definitely not Spike, that would just be too weird, even though he liked TV a whole bunch. “Six, so that’s one for me, you, Xander and Anya, and I guess Giles? And Tara? Or Dawn?”

“The fine print says no under eighteens, because of the contents of the show.” Willow showed Buffy the details, her smile fading at the mention of Tara.

“Well, that’s the decider, Dawn will probably freak out, but the show says she’s too young to go, at least I won’t have that battle with her, I’m too exhausted for that right now. She’ll be at school and then she can go to Janice’s.”

Buffy’s shoulders slumped again, the initial rush of adrenaline gone, she was back to being sad Buffy, Willow thought. “You know, it’s OK if you want to invite Tara, I wouldn’t want her to miss out on a fun day just because we’re not together anymore.”

Buffy let out a breath she’d been holding. Tara’s name had just slipped out like she had foot in mouth syndrome, but she was glad Willow had taken it well.

“OK, I’ll call Tara.” Buffy gave a half smile.

At that, Willow was all bouncy again. “Hey! Let’s look through our closets and pick out our hottest outfits! We’ll want to look good in case the camera pans our way!”

Buffy was grinning again, as she hugged her best friend, “Now, that’s something I know is gonna be fun!”

……….

“Yeah, anyway, then these tickets came from the Jerry Springer show, and I wondered if you wanted to come, mate?” Spike was sipping from a bottle of whiskey Clem had brought round as they watched TV. He’d thought deeply over whether to invite Buffy, but he wasn’t prepared to allow her to scoff and throw it back in his face. She knew how to hurt him enough already, did it on a regular basis, and he, like a simpering wanker, allowed her to do it, just so he could feel her come apart on his cock one more time, to hold her and kiss her like it really meant something.

“Uh, yeah, Spike, that’d be great.” Clem said happily.

“Err, yeah, you’d need to wear a hoodie, like to cover your, err.” Spike indicated to Clem’s ears and face.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m all about the covering up, I do it when I go to LA for moisturiser, they do this stuff in Bloomingdales, it smells like heaven…”

“Yeah, alright mate, I get the picture, although they do deliver nowadays, we don’t live in the stone age. Now, less about the smelly crap you slather on yourself, lets talk logistics. I say we take the Desoto, travel overnight, it has blacked out windows for when the sun rises, of a fashion, and we can park at the studio.”

“Sounds like a plan, say, I’ll bring snacks for the road trip.” Clem said happily.

Spike knew what type of tasteless rubbish Clem liked and raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, we’ll bring a cooler for blood an’ beer, an’ that’s it sorted.”

Clem sighed happily, and Spike settled back in as the music began for the Jerry Springer show on the TV, that would be them in the audience in a few days, but he’d be damned if he’d be cheering like those automatons.

…………...

Giles was none too pleased with the invitation to join the gang on their trip to the studios in Burbank. “Buffy, you have patrolling to do, we can’t head off to Hollywood on a whim and leave the Hellmouth unguarded.” He said sternly, shaking his glasses at her.

“I’m sorry to remind you, Giles, but I wasn’t here all summer, and somehow the world didn’t end. Willow’s been working on the bot, she said it’s been hard putting it back together from next to nothing, but she’ll be a presence and people will think its me. It’s only for one night.” Buffy pleaded.

Her watcher sighed. It was only for one night, and lord knows she needed the break, she’d been so unhappy since her return, he almost wished…No, that was unthinkable. He’d been so happy to see her when she’d been resurrected he’d almost sobbed with relief, but that didn’t make what Willow and the others had done, right. “BuffyBot isn’t up to the job, she needs guidance, she really should be supervised.”

“Just one, itty bitty, night.” Buffy held two fingers and inch apart and spoke in a childlike voice. She knew Giles would give in.

“Oh, for gods sake, alright then, but double patrol the next night, just in case the Bot misses anything.”

Buffy ran into Giles’ arms and hugged him tight. She wasn’t sure why she even felt she had to ask his permission, not since he wasn’t really her watcher anymore. She couldn’t let go, she still needed him more than ever and worried he’d head right off to England if she didn’t make him feel valued and needed. “So, you’ll come?”

“Buffy, its not my thing, I don’t even watch TV.” Giles protested, taking his glasses from his nose and cleaning them frantically.

“Come on, it’ll be fun, and all work and no play, makes Giles a very dull boy.”

“Quite.” Was his succinct response.

……..

Friday morning came, and Xander knocked on the door at six-thirty am, to find it opened by a sleepy Buffy, steaming coffee mug in hand.

“I’ve borrowed a minivan from someone at work,” Xander said enthusiastically, used to being up this early for work. “I have snacks, and we can stop for breakfast along the way.”

“He insisted we got up this early, I didn’t think we’d need to leave for at least another hour.” Anya grumbled, looking just as tired as Buffy.

Willow clapped her hands eagerly, lightly elbowing Buffy who shot her a dirty look. “Please give me some peace, I only got in at two after patrolling.”

Xander eyed Buffy, looking for any tell-tale signs that she’d been with Spike. Nope, nothing visible. “So how was patrolling last night, Buffy? Did you come across the bleach menace?” He probed.

“Same stake, different day.” She chuckled. She had gone to see Spike, but he hadn’t been home, which was weird, because he was always home lately. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was waiting for her. Her heart thumped in her chest and she felt light headed at the thought of him and what he did to her. His face when she ran away afterwards popped into her mind unbidden. Hurt, his expressive face showed how hurt he was that she wouldn’t stay. She couldn’t stay, she couldn’t afford to let him any closer than she had. OK, she didn’t really think of him as a ‘thing’ so much nowadays, she accepted he was capable of loving her and she believed he did. No-one could touch another person with such tenderness and hope in their eyes without loving them, she knew that. She just couldn’t bare telling her friends, she didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes when she told them she was seeing another vampire, especially after what had happened with Jenny and Angelus, Giles would never forgive her.

“Earth to Buffy?” Xander clicked his fingers in her face.

“Sorry, I must’ve just zoned out there for a minute. What time are Tara and Giles arriving?” She yawned.

There was a polite knock at the door, Tara had arrived, and Anya greeted her.

“Giles is driving himself, he said he’d rather make his own way than get in a vehicle with Xander at the wheel.”

“My Xander's a good, safe driver.” Anya smiled, patting his chest.

“Let’s hope so.” Buffy said under her breath.

Willow and Tara were avoiding each other’s eyes, as Tara wished everyone a good morning. “I-I’ve brought donuts.” She said timidly, looking up from below her hair.

“And that, my friends, is why we all love Tara.” Xander exclaimed, realising his mistake as Willow tensed beside him.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” Buffy said, hugging Tara lightly.

“Me too.” Said Willow, her eyes soft as Tara looked up at her from under her eyelashes. Somehow, the more confident girl had gone, and Tara had withdrawn into herself again since the breakup.

Tara cleared her throat, “No Dawnie this morning?”

“No, she slept over at Janice’s and I arranged with her mom for to go there after school. They’re doing cooking lessons or something, her mom was happy to have her stay.”

“OK, let’s get going then folks.” Xander ushered them out the door.

……

Spike and Clem had arrived in Hollywood at 3am, found a local demon bar and settled in to drink themselves stupid. Clem only lasted an hour before crashing out at the bar with his head on his arms, but Spike continued to drink whiskey from the bottle and by 5am had ended up in a bar brawl as he wouldn’t stop moaning about the Slayer and telling random strange demons how much he loved her.

“And stay out, you Slayer loving freak!” A large and angry looking blue demon yelled as he unceremoniously dumped Clem on the ground next to Spike, who was roaring with laughter, pissed as a fart, and now sporting an angry looking black eye.

The sun was just rising as they were thrown out of the bar, and both staggered back to the Desoto to sleep it off.

………

The Scoobies arrived at the studio at nine, just in time for them to check in for the early morning filming of the show. Buffy, Willow and Xander were ushered to their seats and were surprised to find they were in the front row. Giles, Anya and Tara were seated in the row behind.

The lights went up and the theme tune began.

Buffy straightened in her seat, excited to find out what the show was about today.

The crowd roared as Jerry came onstage, chanting his name and causing a general ruckus. The presenter waved and shook a few hands.

“Welcome! Welcome to today’s show! This show is a little unusual, in the fact the guests are in our audience right now, and they don’t know they’re about to be interviewed.”

Buffy looked behind her, hoping to spot the victims of todays show in the rowdy crowd.

“The show is all about an intervention and our first guest, Buffy Summers, is here because her friends are worried about her choice of partner. Would you come down to the front Buffy, and your friends Willow and Xander.”

Buffy stared at Jerry in shock.

………

Spike and Clem staggered drunkenly to their seats just as the show began, Spike still swigging from a half empty whiskey bottle. He liked the atmosphere as soon as walked in the place, the crowd were out of control and they had security everywhere.

He looked to the front and thought he saw Buffy and her friend Red, but then wondered if he wasn’t just seeing things, what with the amount of alcohol he’d imbibed in the past twenty-four hours, it wouldn’t surprise him.

Then he heard her name mentioned, now this was gonna be right interesting. He wondered who’d set up this little charade. Whoever it was would be dead on sight if the Slayer caught them and with a chuckle he settled in to watch what was happening.

………..

Giles and Tara looked at one another in surprise as the three were called up on stage. Giles was shaking his head and holding onto the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what they have planned, but I have a really bad feeling about this.” Tara shouted to Giles over the din of the crowd and stage music.

Anya just settled back in her seat and opened some popcorn.

……….

“So, Buffy, do you know why you’re here?” Jerry asked.

Buffy shielded her eyes from the bright studio lights and shook her head.

“Well, your friends, Willow and Xander here, are worried about your current relationship. They say the guy is almost as bad as a serial killer and only wants you because he wants the status of being with you. They say he will suck the life out of you and you’ll just let it happen because you’ve been unlucky in love.”

“Uh, w-well, I don’t know what they’re talking about.” Buffy said into the mic being affixed to her lapel, once the stagehand attached some sound equipment to the belt of her leather pants.

“Oh, come on, Buffy, you can’t lie, we know you’ve been going to Spike’s crypt, uh, uh, crib, for smoochies, you just haven’t told us.” Xander blurted out.

“Yeah, you’ve been coming home smelling of cigarettes and once you were wearing his coat.” Willow said accusingly.

“What is this? Some kinda witch hunt? My shirt got ripped, Spike lent me his coat, so I could cover myself. Whats wrong with that? You know he’s been helping.”

Jerry moved over to Buffy, “Just what job do you do, Buffy, its sounds pretty dirty.”

The crowd went wild at the double entendre.

“I, uh, it’s a bit like town security.” She said, happy she’d found a convincing lie, as outing yourself of national TV as a vampire slayer or chosen one, was not of the good.

“OK, so this guy you’ve been seeing, he’s a bad boy?” Jerry queried.

“Uh, not so much now. H-he cared for my little sister when I was away for a few months, she loves him like a brother.” Buffy told Jerry.

“And do you love him?” Jerry asked, garnering kissy noises and whistles from the audience.

“No, I-I, I don’t.” She stuttered, taken aback by the unexpected question.

“Buffy, you can’t love him, he can’t love you, he’s just a thing!” Xander piped up and said.

“Xander’s right, he’s not good for you, he’ll only let you down in the end, we know, we’ve seen how heartbroken you were after Angel.” Willow said in a soothing but condescending tone, like she was talking to a four-year-old.

“That was totally different, Angel became a different person, it was my fault. Spike has…he’s always been the same, no matter what.” Buffy said, she could feel herself welling up as she spoke about her past relationship in terms fit for human ears.

Jerry latched on to the name. “Ah, yes, Spike. Spike could you come down to the front please.” The presenter walked up the steps into the audience to collect him.

Buffy’s eyes widened when she realised Spike was there. What in the hell was he doing there? God, was he a part of this too? She knew he could be evil, but she didn’t think he’d stoop so low as to do this to her.

The crowd began to chant Spike’s name and her head began to swim as she turned saw him rise from his seat near the back and saunter down towards the stage, looking as cocky as ever.

……

Spike felt a bit knackered by all the commotion and, regardless of Buffy being grilled on stage, he was just drifting off. His name was called, and a large elbow thrust into his ribs.

“Spike wake up! They want you down the front.” Clem called into his ear.

“Wot? Why’d they want me?” He slurred, as Clem tried to push him to his feet.

Jerry came up to where Spike was sitting and ushered him down the steps, “Give a warm welcome to Spike everyone!” He announced.

Spike grinned and thrust his fingers up in V as he navigated the steps to the stage. The crowd thundered with applause, they loved a bad boy.

Spike sat down in the chair next to Buffy, levering her hand from the white knuckled grip she had on the seat and planting a sweet kiss on her knuckles. “Princess.” He said with a lopsided grin.

“Ugh, you’re drunk.” She said, pulling her hand back.

“As a bloody skunk.” He smiled inanely.

“Now, Spike. Buffy’s friends seem to believe you’re not good for her, that you are a troublemaker. What do you say?” Jerry questioned.

“I say, damn right I am!” He called out to the audience and raised his bottle to them before taking a dram.

“So why do Buffy’s friends think that? Whats happened to make them think you’re not good enough for her?”

“Dunno, was with my ex for years, treated her real nice, loved her an’ cared for her, until this blonde nymphet got into my noggin’ and replaced all that was me, with her. Her mates might not like it, but you can’t blame the girl if she comes to me for a bit o’ cold comfort when she gets back and finds her life is hell. She lost her mum a while back, right nice lady she was, and Buffy had to take care of her little sis. Life’s bin hard for her, poor cow.”

Buffy winced at his candid description of her recent life.

“He’s a monster, he does things no other normal person does, I can’t reveal what, but he does ‘em.” Xander hollered.

Spike stood and moved towards Xander, pulled back by security, who really didn’t stand a chance in hell of keeping him back if he wasn’t chipped or really trying. “You’re just jealous, you couldn’t have her you stupid sod, so you brought her out here to shame her, fucking ponce!” Spike yelled. The viewers at home were on a slight delay so only heard, beep, beep, beeeep, as Spike’s swearing was edited out.

Anya began cheering Spike on, whooping and raising her fist. She turned to Tara, “I always knew it, he always hides behind his Buffy!”

Xander flushed and sat back down, realising he’d be outed if he didn’t phrase the next part right, “I’m not even gonna grace that with an answer, Spike, you don’t know everything.”

“Oh, I know enough, mate, believe me.” Spike sat back down, his eyes flashing to Buffy as she rubbed her temples.

Jerry turned his sights back on Buffy. “Buffy, are you ready to admit the truth? Have you been seeing Spike behind everyone’s back?”

Buffy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Glancing to Giles, she knew she couldn’t say yes. “I-I, no, I haven’t been seeing Spike.”

Spike glared at her and them pawed the air, “Piffle.” He said, taking another gulp of whiskey, swinging his leg over the arm of the chair and making himself comfortable.

“Would you swear that under a lie detector test, Buffy?” Jerry asked.

Buffy’s eyes looked at everyone wildly, like a cornered beast. “Uh, I suppose I don’t have any choice?” She finally said.

“We’re heading to a commercial break right now, but we’ll see you with the results soon.” Jerry said, looking into the camera.

………..

Willow and Xander got up as Buffy was taken backstage for the lie detector test, they tried to apologise but could see she was crazy mad at them and decided against any further conversation.

“We’re in the right here, Wills, she needs to stop this behaviour and get that loser out of her life.” Xander pointed to Spike. Neither looked in Giles direction, knowing he was likely to be hopping mad at their tactics to get Buffy to talk.

The compair, was calling for everyone to stay in their seats, telling them they’d be back on air, live, in four minutes.

Spike’s head lolled to the side and Willow was sure he’d passed out, except after a few minutes he started reciting poetry into his mic.

 "My soul is wrapped in harsh repose, midnight descends in raven-coloured clothes, but soft...”

The crowd quietened down their rowdiness, listing to his poem.

“Behold, a sunlight beam cutting a swath of glimmering gleam.“

There was cheering, and Spike cocked one eye open. Standing and taking a swig of whiskey, he strode to the front of the stage.

“My heart expands, 'tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty... effulgent."

He threw his arms wide at the end, grinning with a wild glint in his eyes, bowing as the crowd gave him a standing ovation, falling in love with him.

“If that girl doesn’t want you, baby, I’ll take you home! Show you what a reaaal woman can do.” A older woman called from the crowd, wriggling to accentuate her curves.

“Hey, bitch, get in line!” A gay guy shouted from across the way.

“Back to your seats now, were going live in 5, 4, 3…” he used his fingers to indicate 2 and 1, and they were back on air.

To a round of applause, Jerry was back on air. “Welcome back to the show, we have Buffy who’s just taken a lie detector test because she says she isn’t sleeping with Spike here.” The crowd boo and jeer. “And her friends here, think she’s been lying to them.” This garnered more jeers of condemnation for Buffy. She was beginning to believe she was being portrayed as the villain in the piece and she didn’t like it one bit. The more they cat called, the angrier she became, thinking she might just blow a gasket shortly.

Spike lifted his bottle and the crowd cheered him.

Jerry went to the crowd for questions and a young guy stood up. “My question for the one in the leather trousers is, why lie to people, why not just tell the truth?”

“First of all, I’m not sure it’s any of your damn business.” Buffy huffed, crossing her arms.

“First of all, you need to watch your attitude, lady!” The guy retorted, “Cause I’m not the one who’s lying to her people! So, you’ve just come on this show to, what? Clear your name? Girlfriend, I’m telling you I think you’re a liar!”

Buffy was up, striding towards the crowd, “And I’m gonna kick your scrawny little ass.”

The crowd began to yell, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!” as security ran towards Buffy.

“Oh, you’re a big bad now, sit your ass back down, little girl, sit your ass back down.” The guy laughed.

Spike was guffawing drunkenly at the spectacle of security trying to stop Buffy. “You go, girlfriend!” He yelled, waving his bottle of whiskey at Buffy.

“Oh, shut up, Spike!” She headed back in his direction but was corralled again by security.

Spike hooted as he knew he’d been saved from another broken nose, for now.

Willow and Xander were staring at their feet in embarrassment. This was so not how they’d hoped this would go. Buffy was on the defensive and the crowd were baying for her blood.

A man stood up and Jerry went over to him with the mic, “My question is for her, the blonde in the pants who thinks she’s too good for the rest of us. I’d knock you out if you were one of my friends, running around with a piece of shit behind their backs, you’re a bad friend!”

The crowd were up on their feet hollering again, some shouting that Spike was perfect and a good guy who read poetry, and others calling him a no-good boyfriend, who needed putting in jail.

Spike just grinned, placing his bottle on the floor and stretching with both hands behind his head.

Buffy stood up, tears threatening, “You don’t know me! The hell would you knock me out, come down here and try it!” She was losing the will to carry on this battle. Who were her friends anyway? People who would drag her into this circus and see her ripped to shreds in front of the continental US?

She sat back down without being asked, her head in her hands.

Jerry was passed an envelope with the results of the lie detector.

“OK, everyone, calm down, I have the results of the lie detector test. We asked Buffy Summers if she was romantically involved with Spike, she said no…. the test said she was lying!” The crowd went wild, throwing papers cups and snacks towards the stage. “On question two, she was asked if she was sleeping with Spike behind her friends backs.” He paused, waiting for the crowd to quiet down, “She said, she wasn’t, the test said, she was lying!” The crowd almost went into riot mode, jumping and cheering as Buffy hugged herself on the stage. “Finally, when asked if she loved Spike, she said no…and she was lyyyiiinnng!”

Spike was on his feet now, this wasn’t funny anymore and he’d sobered up somewhat when things had turned nasty. “Oi, you wankers, leave my bird alone!” He was squaring up to security and threatening to rip their heads off. Eventually they guided him back to his seat and he was leaning towards Buffy, trying to get her attention. “Love, are you alright? Don’t listen to those bastards, its just for show, they’d never say it to your face.”

“Don’t, please don’t, Spike, I-I can’t.” Buffy begged, shaking her bowed head.

“That’s enough!” Giles shouted into the mic when Jerry moved to him next. He’d tried to get out of his seat and go to Buffy but there were too many people in the way. “Buffy has a difficult job and this, this is madness! I say, leave her alone and let’s just bloody get away from this bloody spectacle!”

“May I ask who you are, sir?” Jerry asked.

“Well, I’m Rupert Giles, I suppose you could call me Buffy’s father figure.” Giles replied slightly more calmly. “Buffy’s had a tough year, and while I may not agree with her choices, they’re hers to make and Willow and Xander have no right to interfere like this.” He shot them both a withering look and their shoulders slumped.

The crowd was chaotic as Jerry tried to bring the show to a close.

“OK, well I think we have the full story folks. Whatever you think of Buffy, her father says she’s been given a raw deal, so we’ll be right back after the break with Jerry’s final thoughts.”

The show went to the final break and Buffy stood and turned to Willow and Xander. ” I’m going to say this once and only once. I never want to see you again, you dragged me out of heaven and you brought me on this show for them to make me look like the worst person in the world. You don’t deserve me as a friend! You don’t deserve me at all!” She cried, moving out of her seat and depositing herself in a shocked Spike’s lap, sobbing into his lapel.

Spike picked her up and carried her off stage, and there was a boo of protest as they left. He’d had enough of this, he wouldn’t watch his slayer belittled in front of everyone when she did so much for those gits, risked her life every day for them. It had only dawned on him how badly the show was going as he sobered up, and now, he felt terrible for not putting a stop to this charade immediately.

“Find me somewhere we can be alone!” He barked at one of the stage hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Buffy was repeating over and over.

“It’s OK, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He whispered, kissing her temple.

The stage hand indicated to a side room and Spike told him to sod off, carefully laying Buffy down on a sofa.

He didn’t say a word, just gently smoothed her hair away from her face, and wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“I didn’t need that, Spike.” She said, her breath hitching. “I’m not a bad person.”

“O’ course you’re not, love, those people don’t know you, they’re just here for a good time.”

She began to cry again.

“Want me to go out there an’ slaughter them all?”

“Would you?” There was a hint of a smile.

“Could do, if you really wanted it, like.” He grinned, catching hold of her hand and rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.

“I don’t know what they were thinking, bringing me here like this? Couldn’t they have just asked me? I probably would’ve lied, but then I lied here too. Oh, god, now everyone thinks I’m a big fat liar.” She sat up suddenly, nearly bumping Spike’s head.

“Oh, who gives a toss? Let them think what they like, tomorrow it’ll be yesterdays news.” He said, sitting beside her, still rubbing her hand in soothing circles.

“Spike, I…” She scrubbed at her nose.

“Look, whatever you can’t say now is fine with me. You know I could only ever hope you might feel the same, sweetheart. I would never push you. All I ask is that you don’t run from me so much, give us a chance. Can you do that?”

She sniffled and looked him in the eye. “O-OK, I can do that.” She hugged him tightly and tried to regain composure.

“You wanna get out of this dump?” He said into her hair, before kissing the crown of her head.

“Hell, yeah!” She said, taking him by the hand, both running into the studio’s, looking for an exit.

Five minutes later they pulled up outside the entrance to the studio and waved to Clem, who was looking around him anxiously, obviously thinking Spike had left him there. “Oi! Oi Clem, get in or you’ll be getting’ the bus!” Spike yelled through a small crack he’d wound down on the driver’s window, trying to avoid the sunlight.

Clem was in, and they were off at high speed.

Buffy snuggled under Spike’s arm on the bench seat and he rubbed the top of her back with his free hand, toying with the strap of her halter.

“I don’t want to go home, not tonight. I can’t deal with them right now.” Buffy said, her voice cracking as she felt tears threatening again.

“No problem, pet, you can sleep at mine, and we’ll deal with the fallout tomorrow, together, eh? Anyway, something tells me your watcher and Tara will be reading them the riot act, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Glinda so mad at Willow.”

Buffy giggled. “Anya was watching like it was some soap opera, gobbling down popcorn. Sleeping with you tonight sounds good. Can we get take out and watch trashy movies?” She said sleepily, then she suddenly sat up, “Dawn!”

Spike pulled her back into his side gently, “Don’t you worry about the little bit, I’ll call Janice’s mum when we get back and ask if she can stay the night. She knows me, since I was caring for Dawn over the summer. It’ll be fine, just rest, we’ll be home soon.”

As she dozed, she replayed the events of the day over in her mind. Now was the time to put a stop to indulging her friend’s thoughts over her own. She was the Slayer and sometimes she wondered whether she would be better off doing that job alone, as almost all other slayers did. Having friends who doubted her judgement only led to heartbreak and, in this case, bad decisions on their part. Could she forgive them for this? She didn’t know. All she knew was they now realised what they’d done in ripping her from heaven, she’d told them, right to their faces. She loved them, but she had to take control of her own destiny. She’d not quite admitted to herself that she’d fallen in love with Spike, yet, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve for her to give the relationship a fair try. She could love him, she knew that, and he was loveable, sweet, romantic and an equal, if she let him be. Things would have to change if she was to take a chance on him, but from her perspective. No more thinking he was evil, that he couldn’t love or that he had to be everything she wanted. She had to allow him room to grow too. He made her happy and she needed happy right now. The days happenings had been a reality check and she would need to think long and hard about who she was when she was with her friends, and the liberties she allowed them in her personal life. She really hoped Giles was giving them a dressing down, because she was going to kick their asses tomorrow – metaphorically speaking, of course – and she would do it with her boyfriend by her side.

Buffy smiled as Spike hummed to himself, she vaguely recognised it as a tune from some old movie before she drifted into an emotionally exhausted sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We left Buffy driving home with Spike and Clem, after a truly awful day. I hope you enjoy the aftermath.  
> This chapter is betaed by the awesome BadWolfJedi.

“Holy heck, Dawn!” Janice yelled, to Dawn who was trying to sleep above the noise from the small TV set in Janice’s room. It was eleven PM and Dawn was exhausted. She loved sleeping at her best friend’s house, but Janice often talked her half to death before letting her get to sleep.

“What? We have school early in the morning.” Dawn took her pillow and pulled it over her head to drown out the sound.

“Isn’t that your sister?”

This piqued Dawn’s interest and she sat up, staring at the screen, “What?”

Janice threw a scatter cushion at Dawn’s head. “Is that Buffy? I’m sure that’s Buffy.” She repeated.

Dawn quietly crept closer, sitting with crossed legs on the floor before the TV. The sound was down low on the TV as Janice’s mom had already told them to go to sleep twice.

The show was in full flow and Dawn’s heart hammered as she realised, it was her sister on stage, sitting beside Xander and Willow. The crowd roared, and Dawn watched Spike walk down the steps towards the stage.

“Spike too! Quick, tape it!” Dawn grabbed Janice’s hand, who scrambled around in the dark, looking for a blank tape to put in the VCR. “Quick, we’re gonna miss it!” Dawn hissed, finding the remote control and helping Janice set the timer.

Once they got the tape recording, Dawn moved closer to the screen, wide eyed and biting her nails as she watched the whole show.

At the end, when she saw her sister being carried from the stage by Spike, she felt a tear roll down her cheek, and turned to Janice. “She didn’t deserve that, she so didn’t deserve it, Janice.”

Janice hugged her friend as the credits rolled, “Boy, what are the kids gonna say at school tomorrow?”

Dawn didn’t know, but she knew it was going to be bad.

…………………

“This is preposterous! I cannot even comprehend what you thought you’d achieve by doing this to Buffy in such a way!” Giles was pacing the floor in his apartment, anger radiating from every pore.

“We were trying to stop her from the collision course that was sleeping with the undead! Giles, you must know what I mean, the bleached menace is no good for her! He’d be better as dust and she’d be better off alone!” Xander implored.

Tara stood next to Giles’ kitchenette, her hand covering her mouth in shock, while Willow and Xander sat on the sofa getting a talking to from Giles. Anya sat in the easy chair, flicking through a magazine.

“Giles, it wasn’t like that, we thought we could get her to see…”

Giles stopped and pointed his glasses at Willow, “Get her to see what, Willow? See herself on TV being betrayed by her friends? That what she was doing was wrong? Yes, I heard that on stage at that sodding circus?”

“It’s wrong Giles, Spike hasn’t got a soul, you must remember what happened with Angel?” Willow said tearfully.

“Yes, I think I know what happened with Angelus, he left my sodding girlfriend’s corpse in my bed! He and Drusilla tortured me until I could hardly bear it!” Willow shrank back as Giles peered at her, outraged. “Thankfully, that wasn’t Spike. Spike’s not Angel.  He’s no saint either, and while I wish Buffy hadn’t chosen him as her lover, she deserves to have some happiness. The bloke has proven himself to us this summer, and none of us gave him any credit! He cared for that girl like she was his own daughter, I saw it myself. Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect either, I should have told him he was doing a good job, told him what I felt, and it’s my job to sort that out with him.” Giles paced from one end of the room to the next, stopping before Xander and Willow once more. “What I really want to know is, what gives you the right to treat your friend like that? Whose idea was it?”

Willow and Xander looked at each other and Willow began to cry in earnest. In the meantime, Anya lifted an arm up and pointed to Xander, not taking her eyes of the magazine.

“I’m so angry with you, Xander, I ought to knock your bloody block off! Not only have you put a girl on the stand without her knowledge and made her a laughing stock, but you’ve made her famous! She has a job to do! Now people will recognise her everywhere she goes. Who knows? They could start following her while she tries to undertake her sacred calling!”

“Giles, Tara,” Willow turned to look at her ex, who looked away from her, unwilling to meet her eye. “I didn’t know it would turn out this way, I didn’t know the show would be that awful, I’d only watched it once or twice, and it didn’t seem so bad.”

Tara crossed her arms and didn’t speak, her face filled with disappointment.

“Oh, so that’s alright, is it? Because you didn’t know, that makes things better?” Giles said, stopping beside Tara and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I suggest you get out of my sight, before I say something I regret.”

Tara patted Giles’ arm before leaving.

As Xander left, Giles heard him say, “Holy Smokes, if that wasn’t something he’d regret, I hate to hear what he would.”

……..

Tara didn’t speak a word on the way home in the minivan, not until they got to campus. In fact, it wasn’t until Willow touched her arm, that she spoke at all.

“Willow, please don’t touch me,” she said whipping her arm away, “I thought what you did with the magic was bad, but this, this is so much worse. I can’t even bear to look at you.” Tara jumped out and slammed the door behind her, leaving a tearful Willow staring after her.

Xander piped up, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, I mean, it’s not as if she’s really one of the Scoobies anymore.”

Anya slapped his arm hard, “Would you just shut your mouth! I’m telling you, Xander Harris, I don’t know if I want to be with such a total idiot. Just shut up and drive!”

……………………………………….

The following morning Buffy woke, feeling disoriented. She looked up and saw some familiar tree roots hanging from the ceiling above. She was at Spike’s. The candles by the bed were close to extinguishing, providing a shadowy and eerie glow over the lower crypt. Her head was muzzy and her eyes gritty as she turned to place her hand on Spike’s shoulder, finding him gone.

She could hear him talking above, and tried to focus, wondering who he could be speaking to at; she looked at her watch; one PM, later than she thought.

The horror of the previous day’s events hit her like a freight train, and her stomach rolled with anxiety. Tears threatened, along with bile rising in her throat. She gulped back the urge to vomit, the raw emotion of her best friend’s betrayal seeking an outlet.

Shakily, she placed her feet on the rugs beside the bed and looked for her pants. She was wearing one of Spike’s black tee’s and little else. All she remembered was arriving home exhausted and sobbing in his arms before falling asleep. How could they do something like that to her? She’d done everything for them! Saved them countless times from their own stupidity and had always been a good friend. She had been a good friend, hadn’t she? She spent her life out patrolling to keep them safe, forgoing the Bronze when they went out to enjoy themselves, just so she could keep vamps and demons at bay. When had she ever said they had to join her? It had always been their choice to come along, and if she was honest, they were more of a liability than a help.

She hesitated at the bottom rung of the ladder when she heard Spike’s voice raise several octaves above normal. Who in the hell was he talking to? She pushed the cover across and watched as he strode up and down the length of the crypt, stark naked.

“I don’t soddin’ well care if it’s already gone out live on air, what I’m askin’ is that its pulled from further showings!...You can’t? Well how’s about you put the organ grinder on, rather that the soddin’ monkey!...No! I can’t bloody hold!....Fuck it!”

He was talking on a cell phone she’d never seen before. She saw his eyes glinting with a hint of yellow as he yelled down the phone but they softened and returned to sparkling blue when he saw her coming up the ladder.

“They’ve put me on hold, wankers.” He smiled gently as she made her way towards him and tucked herself under his arm, barely resisting the urge to fondle him while he was on a serious phone call.

“Who are you talking to?” She asked, as he led her to the chair and indicated for her to sit.

“Bloody Jerry Springer, if they won’t listen to what I have to say, then I’m gonna go down there and rip their bloody throats out!” He said, his nakedness detracting from his speech.

“Like you could anyway.” She teased, reaching out and fingering the fine hairs of his lower belly.

“Oh, fuck, don’t do that, pet, I’m on an important call.” His eyes rolled back.

“OK, I won’t touch my man while he’s on an important call.” She teased, holding her hands up.

“You’re gonna get a good bloody seein’ to, right after I’ve finished with these bastards.” He said, biting his lower lip and giving her the eye.

She stood and wandered around the crypt. Opening the small refrigerator Spike had to store his blood, she found a diet coke, along with some chocolate bars. She held them up to him and he nodded, covering the speaker of the cell “They’re for you anyway, sweetheart, you just never stay long enough to have them.” He winked, before going back to listening to the loud hold music on the phone, “I never liked the Four, soddin’ Seasons.” He complained.

She perched on the chair and watched as he started pacing again, he was so hot, and yes, he knew it, but he seemed ignorant of quite how hot. Her mind taken off the awful day she’d had before, she bit into the chocolate and wondered if she’d ever have the guts to walk around fully naked like him.

“Right! You’ll be hearing from our lawyers, you ponce, and I’m tellin’ you, you won’t bloody like them, they’ll eat you alive!” He threw the cell across the room, ignoring it as it shattered against a wall, and strode towards Buffy, “Fuckers won’t pull the re-runs,” he dropped to his knees before her, “I’m sorry, love, I tried.”

Buffy reached out and caressed his face and he closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering as he relished her touch. Why had she never noticed he’d do anything for her? Why did she think her friends were somehow better than him because they were human? Because right now, her friends were possibly the most hateful people she’d ever known. And Spike, a vampire who professed to be evil, made her feel safe and wanted. Why had she never noticed this?

“I suggest I go an’ get dressed, because otherwise, I’ll be taking you back to bed an’ shagging you senseless. We’ve got things to do, like give those mates o’ yours what for.” He said, grinning evilly and waggling his eyebrows before disappearing down the hole to the bedroom.

She wished he would just take her back to bed, so the whole world would fall away, and she wouldn’t have to face her friends and their excuses. She’d also need to face Giles, and she didn’t relish that either, but at least he’d stuck up for her in some way.

By the time she’d shoved the last of the third chocolate bar into her mouth, Spike was dressed and ready to leave.

…………..

Spike uncovered his Desoto, which he’d parked in some groundskeepers shed near the crypt, and they headed back to Revello Drive.

Buffy’s stomach coiled at the thought of seeing Willow, her best friend and one of her traitors and she snuggled closer to Spike.

He obviously realised she was nervous, and he pulled her close. “It’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re not on trial this time, they are.” He murmured, planting a kiss on the crown of her head.

That was it, she’d felt like she’d been on trial, like in Judge Judy, except nobody was listening to her side, and no one was being impartial, they were just accusing. She felt like the only person in the world who was on her side was Spike.

He slowed the car, pulling over to the side of the road.

“Are we there?” Buffy asked, she wasn’t ready to be home just yet, and it didn’t seem like they’d gone far enough yet.

“No, It’s the Bit, she’s walking home, schools out, thought I’d pick her up.” He said, beeping the horn. Buffy couldn’t see a thing through the whitewashed windows and had to rely on Spike’s vision through the small gap on the driver’s side to know what was happening.

Dawn jumped in, calling goodbye to Janice.

“For Christs sake, close the bloody door, platelet, before the driver gets burned to a pile o’ dust.” Spike yelled good humouredly.

“God, Spike, you’re just as bad as when you used to come get me last year, I was as quick as I could.” Dawn grumbled, her hands on the back of the bench seat as she talked.

“You collected her from School?” Buffy said to Spike, lifting her hand to his face. God, he never ceased to surprise her.

“Yeah, used to get her on the days when I was minding her, which was most days.” The indicator clicked as he turned back out onto the road, “O’ course, she was never ready, always natterin’ with her mates.” He chuckled, and Buffy felt his laughter vibrate through him.

“You never gave me time to get here from school, always beeping your horn and embarrassing me.” Dawn said, giggling. She clearly liked it.

When had those two become so close? She wasn’t jealous, she was proud of Spike, Dawn too. She’d never allowed him tell her much about that summer, she’d never let him talk to her, she’d just used him to make herself feel better. She shuddered as the realisation of how badly she’d been treating him hit her in the gut.

“Buffy are you ok?” Dawn said, a trace of sympathy in her voice, betraying the fact she knew what had happened yesterday.

Buffy pulled herself up, kneeling and gripping the back of the seat as she turned to her sister. “So, you saw it?”

“Yeah, we didn’t know, but Janice was watching late night TV and I…yeah I saw it.” Dawn was awaiting a lecture for being up so late, Buffy knew it, so she relented on the reprimand.

“God was it terrible?” She asked.

“Uh-uh, you looked like the, uh, victim, like they’d taken you on the show to make you look a fool.” Dawn’s voice wavered with anger as her pitch rose. She began rooting around in her bag. “I have it taped, I think we missed the start, but can we watch it?”

Buffy took the tape from her sister and held it in both hands, staring at it like it contained the answers to why her friends had done what they did.

“We should watch it when we get home.” Dawn ventured.

Buffy looked to Spike, his eyes were on the road, but he took her hand and squeezed it, “We should, pet, you’ll always wonder if you don’t.”

“Right, yeah, it can’t be that bad, can it?”

…………

Willow wasn’t home when they arrived at Revello Drive, and Buffy was relieved. She drew the curtains and busied herself in the kitchen making them popcorn and hot chocolate with marshmallows, Spike’s choice, before stopping to make a call to Giles, telling him to ask everyone to meet at her house in a few hours.

She settled down to watch the video next to Spike, her legs drawn up beside her with Dawn’s head on her lap as she caressed her long, soft hair. It was nice. When had she last felt so relaxed and safe? Well, she supposed that would be before her resurrection, but having these two supporting her was almost as good, regardless of whether they were about to watch the most cringeworthy video of her she’d ever see.

The video began after the beginning of the show, but then she knew that part; remembered it in technicolour; and Dawn didn’t ask what had happened before that part, much to her relief, she didn’t want to talk, just watch.

She gripped Spike’s hand as he strode into view, she watched as Spike picked up her hand and kissed it. Stage Buffy said, “Ugh, you’re drunk.” And Buffy moved her hand to clutch Spike’s. He lifted it up and kissed it, pulling it to his chest.

Dawn laughed when Jerry asked if Spike was a troublemaker and he replied, “I say, damn right I am!”

Buffy found herself giggling along with Dawn, what could she expect? He was so cocksure and that was what she loved about him. She looked at his face as he watched himself, smiling when he did.

Dawn spoke up when Xander started talking, “I can’t believe he said that about Spike, I love Xander, but he’s such a blockhead sometimes. Like he never even spent any real time with me last summer!” Dawn sat up, pointing at the screen as Buffy hid her head in the arm of Spike’s coat, trying not to look at herself. It had got to the part where she was asked questions by Jerry, she was mortified.

“Everyone’s going to think I’m a liar.” Buffy whined, hearing herself on screen.

“No, they’re not, Buffy.” Dawn soothed, “Some kids at school saw it and told me they thought it was way harsh. I thought today was going to be terrible, that everyone would’ve seen it, but people were calling Spike a hottie and they had no idea why Xander and Willow didn’t want you to be with him. Nobody called you a liar.” Dawn hugged Buffy’s back as she tried to hide her face.

…..

Spike had been unusually silent. He didn’t want to slag her mates off any more than he had yesterday, because he had this with Buffy and Dawn, something he’d never had before, and he was concerned if he spoke up against them, Buffy would side with them against him when she made up with her mates. He felt like he was in a precarious position. He’d often dreamed of being allowed to sit with the Summers women on the sofa as they snuggled up and watched a movie, and now he was here, so he wouldn’t open his gob and ruin it.

They came to the part where Buffy was taken off stage for the lie detector and he looked abashed when he began his poetry recital.

Buffy dared a peek at the screen when he began the narration of his own poem. “Whose poem is that? I’ve never heard it before?” She said.

“I, err,” Fuck, he was never lost for words, except sometimes around her, “It’s one I wrote a long time ago, always thought it was shite, but it seems they liked it.”

“You write poetry?” She looked up into his eyes with such wonder, he almost felt his heart begin beating again.

“Spike wrote loads of poetry while you were gone,” Dawn said, shovelling popcorn into her mouth, “He’d never show me, though. It was probably about you.”

“Will you show me?” Buffy moved up to his ear and uttered.

“Yeah, if you want.” He breathed, never daring to believe she’d ever want to read his writing. He couldn’t help it, he was kissing her, until Dawn tutted loudly.

“I’d say get a room, but we still have to watch Jerry’s final words. I think you’ll want to hear them.”

Spike glanced at Dawn and she gave him the thumbs up. If she was on his side, then he could cope with what was to come later that evening.

…..

Buffy watched herself carried off stage by Spike and butterflies fluttered in her stomach. He was like some hero in a romance novel; yes, she read them, they gave her a break from some really crappy times; striding over to her and taking her into his arms. She felt giddy, he cared enough not to let her sit on a stage and be jeered at by people, he told her he loved her, and she wondered why she’d never believed it before.

Then Jerry calmed down the crowd, sitting down to do his final thoughts.

_“It’s always sad to see friends fighting over the things they don’t agree with in each other’s relationships. Too often we see anger and resentment when someone you thought was once so close, moves on to find happiness and you’re no longer the person who once occupied their life and heart every day. It’s too much for our ego, and we lash out at the person we lost. Now, I’m not saying it’s easy to refrain from such feelings, but we have to know that it’s in our control as to how long we harbour them. The truth is, we wouldn’t want that person to come back to us broken-hearted, I’m mean, who wants to be in any type of relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same about you, because of something hurtful you did when they found something they needed? Why are we fighting to get this person back? It may be that we have feelings ourselves that were not reciprocated. So, my advice is, don’t let that person’s rejection continue to hurt you, find happiness with someone who will love you back. As for the person you thought you loved, you only loved who you thought they were. Unless they give themselves to you fully, you can never know and you’re better off moving on. Until next time, take care of yourself, and each other.”_

Buffy was stunned, she had never expected Jerry’s ending words to be directed at Xander, that somehow, he’d seen through everything that had been said by all parties and come out with a conclusion like that. Deep in her heart, she knew Xander had feelings for her since they first met, but she thought they’d gotten over that years ago. He had Anya, she’d had other relationships, and she’d never felt that way about him. Xander was one of her best friend’s and she’d somehow broken his heart without realising it.

Spike growled lowly in his chest and Dawn giggled. “He does that when he’s mad.”

She smiled with her sister, it was weird but kind of sweet. “Do you believe what Jerry said? This is about Xander?” Buffy pulled his hand closer and held it next to her own heart.

“I don’t know, love, but I think it might be best if I leave now, I want to rip the gits head off right now. Now I know why he slammed me against the tree outside when you first came back an’ said ‘don't tell me you're not happy. Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence’. Think he was projectin’ that onto me. Of course, seein’ you again made me exultant, pet, but why would he say that, why would he use those words?”

There was a knock on the door and Dawn got up, “I think it’s too late now, Spike, let’s face the music,” Dawn clutched both their hands, “together.”

…

Giles was first to come inside, hugging Buffy as she stepped forward, followed by an apprehensive Xander and Willow. Anya tripped up the steps, nodded to Buffy and headed right for the kitchen with a large bottle of scotch and some wine.

“Err, Tara, she said she couldn’t come, she didn’t want to be a part of this, but she asked if you would call her tomorrow to talk, Buffy.”

“Well, I suppose you’d better come in.” Buffy said to Xander and Willow as the stood in the doorway.

Buffy wasn't sure what to do next, and Xander barely looked her in the eye. Willow moved to sit on the sofa next to Dawn, who shrank away from her, moving closer to Spike who sat rigidly, not looking at anyone, with a wild look in his eye.

"Buffy, I've spoken with both Xander and Willow about what happened, and I believe they understand the seriousness of what they've done to you."  Giles accepted a large glass of scotch from Anya, before she moved to Spike, passing him an equally large four finger shot. Giles took a big gulp. "I don't know what to say about all this, but what I will say, is that we need to sort this out tonight. You are the Slayer and you can't continue on like this, it takes you away from your calling." He moved to sit in the easy chair and nodded at the vampire. "Cheers, Spike." He raised his glass.

Spike knocked his back, "Cheers, Watcher."

Dawn headed to the kitchen and Buffy stood with her hands on her hips before her two friends. "I feel like my mother. She used to stand like this when I was gonna get a big telling off." Buffy began. "I don't know where to start on how badly you've hurt me." She shook her head and walked towards Giles, "Even Giles stood up for me. He got out of his comfort zone and spoke on live TV to support me and, where were you? On a stage, making your best friend look like a fool!"

"Look, Buffy, I knew you'd take it like that but..." Xander blurted out.

"Take it like what, Xander? Like a person betrayed by her best friends in the world?"

"Buffy, please, we never meant to hurt you, we just thought you weren't being yourself, running around with Spike and letting him, you know." Willow blushed.

"Letting him what, Willow? Do exactly what you and Tara were doing until she dumped you for meddling too much with magic? Doing what Xander and Anya were doing every waking moment? God, Anya never shuts up about it!" Buffy turned to Anya as she passed her a large glass of wine. "No offence, Anya."

Buffy drank at least half, catching Spike’s eye as he raised an eyebrow. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Anya grinned as Giles spluttered his drink, "None taken, they'd always been satisfactory, until Xander slept in the orange chair last night." She shot over her shoulder as she headed back to the kitchen, "I didn't tie him to it, though, Spike."

"Shame." Spike grinned.

Xander rolled his neck at the mention of last night’s sleeping arrangements. "But we weren't sleeping with the undead!"

"And there it is!" Buffy announced, "You can deal with your friend being with a girl, hell, you can deal with Willow being with a werewolf and you're sleeping with an ex vengeance demon, who's over a thousand years old. But me, if I want someone out of the ordinary, you can't deal!"

"He threatened Willow and he knocked me out, Cordelia fell and landed on that spike of metal, that was his fault!" Xander pointed at Spike.

"That wasn't his fault, you canoodling with Willow caused Cordelia to run off and fall, Spike was an idiot but he didn't really harm either of you!" Buffy pointed out.

"H-he didn't hurt me that time when he came to our dorm, he was only there because he was looking for you, Buffy." Willow piped up, taking a glass of wine from Anya.

"Angel killed Jenny!" Xander yelled, and there was shocked silence at his outburst.

Giles stood and headed to the kitchen for a top up, looking shaky as he returned to stand beside Buffy.

Spike was on his feet, challenging Xander. " _Angelus_ killed Jenny, you berk! And he and Dru tortured Giles. The Slayer and I agreed a truce at the time and, to my eternal shame, I left her there to fight Angelus. We love who we love, it’s in our blood, in our gut, you blithering idiot! Buffy let me take Dru away after she killed her sister Slayer and tortured her watcher. I'll admit, I’d fallen for Buffy then but tried not to show it to Dru. She was my sire and I owed her. Yet Giles can see past the shit, see I've tried to change. Can you say the same thing, mate?"

" _I_ don't need to change, Buffy's my best friend," Xander looked to Willow for support, she was leaning against his shoulder sobbing, "Will?" He said, hopeful for some back up.

"Even I can see Spikes changed," Willow said, her eyes red from crying, "He loves Buffy, Tara told me how perfect their auras were together, and there's no doubt he loves Dawn, I saw how well he cared for her while Buffy was gone. He helped us all over the summer, and then after, then when I, when I brought Buffy, when Buffy, when..." She couldn’t speak the words and began to sob uncontrollably.

Everyone stared in shocked silence, no one comforting the distraught Willow, all unsure where they stood with each other at this moment. Spike sighed, heading towards her and gently took her arm. Xander stood in front of Willow, rising to his full height before Spike, expecting a pissing contest of sorts.

"Don't be a wanker, the girls in bloody bits." Spike said through gritted teeth, before leading her to the kitchen and into Anya's waiting arms.

"Xander,” Giles took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You heard Mr. Springer in his closing statement. God knows I wished I hadn't, but it was worse than Piccadilly Circus trying to get out of that place. He said you may have unresolved feelings for Buffy, so I'll leave you and head for the kitchen with everyone else and let you both work it out. I will not stand for this any longer, sort it out or bugger off for good." And with that, Giles headed to the kitchen for a top up.

Xander looked terrified once he and Buffy were alone.

Buffy sat down with her hands clasped between her knees and her head lowered, "Is it true?"

Xander sat down beside her, just on the edge of the sofa, "I didn't want to hurt you, I did what I thought was right."

"Is it true?" Buffy repeated, her voice rising an octave.

"I supported you and Riley, he was a good guy, uh, until he wasn't."

"That's not what I asked, and you know it." She turned to him and placed her hand on his arm, "Has this whole thing been about the way you feel about me? Xander, tell me the truth."

"Look, I've always been big funny, caring, Xander." He squeaked, "You always turned to me and Willow if you needed anyone, we were the original Scoobies, but then Spike somehow became more important. He was with us when we fought Glory, but you still cared about him when he had a robot made of you, he keeps being evil and you keep caring. You came back after being dead and he's still more important than us. And now you love him! I could tell, even before you did the lie detector. I never did anything wrong and you never loved me like that!"

"I've always loved you, Xander, as a best friend." Buffy sighed, "I trusted you, and you and Willow dragged me out of heaven!" Buffy said, getting angry, "I could blame Willow alone, but I know she didn't make that decision without you! You'll never know how awful it was to have to claw your way out of a coffin, to have only one person really understand what it's like, to feel like you're still dead, trying to get through every day, until that someone makes you feel again! I'm sorry but if you or Willow ever do anything like this again, to me or anyone else, I don’t think I can be responsible for my actions, and you'd better believe it, because it's true."

Xander dropped his head and nodded.

"I'm taking a break from you both. Spike, Dawn and I are taking a trip, and you, Willow and the Bot will take care of patrolling while we're gone. I might even ask Tara and Anya along."

Xander raised his head, about to protest.

"Don't think, I won't!" Buffy warned.

"I'm sorry, Buffy." He said sadly. "I never wanted things to turn out this way."

“I know you didn’t Xander, but next time you guys need to think about what you’re doing. You’re not children and Giles and I are not your parents, and we’re not the thought police, either. This is my life, Xan, it could be short, and I deserve every happiness I can get. Spike makes me happy, period.”

“Look, we’ll do what you want, we’ll patrol while you take a vacation, just please don’t shut us out, I don’t know what my life would be without my best friends,” His eyes filled with tears, and he wiped them away with the back of his hand, “I’ll accept Spike, but I won’t ever like him and I can’t ever trust him, but I’ll try, Buffy, all I can say is I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask, Xander.” Buffy nodded, glad the conversation was at an end.

Xander hesitated, then moved in for an awkward hug.

Leaving the room, Xander went straight to Anya, where Buffy heard him begin his apology for his behaviour. He would have a lot to make up for and she hated that she was the reason for any disagreement between them, but she had a new found respect for Anya.

Giles had once told her there was a lesson to be learned from every situation, and much as it saddened Buffy, the lesson here was that she could no longer trust her best friends one hundred percent. She hated to feel that way, but also couldn’t ever see her life without them. The trust was gone, perhaps forever, with one stupid and moronic act. There was also the issue of Willow and her out of control use of magic. Buffy knew she’d need to address the subject with Giles and have him decide what was to be done next. This couldn’t go on.

She breathed a sigh of relief and looked towards the kitchen, noticing Spike watching her from his vantage point near the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, his head titled and his eyes softer than she’d ever seen. Her stomach clenched. He loved her, he’d told her he did so many times she’d lost count, why had it taken until now for her to truly believe it? She was taken over by an urge to be with him, always, to see where this would lead. She blushed. Being in love again was scary, but Spike made things seem so effortless, it was so easy to love him. This time was different, as she no longer felt like a naïve young girl, she and Spike were equals and he made her feel cherished. She gave her man her best one-hundred-watt smile as she walked right into his arms.

He plopped a kiss on her forehead. “Alright, love?”

“Mmm, I’m always alright when I’m with you.” She said from inside his coat, her arms coiling around his waist as she breathed him in and kissed his neck. The wine had gone to her head and she took hold of his hand, pulling him the direction of the stairs to her room, for once, not giving a hoot what the others thought.


End file.
